The Four Paths to Reinventing the Relationship Pattern

Reinventing the Relationship Pattern

By Ivy Integration

The four paths to reinventing the relationship pattern are full responsibility, establishing six core traits, determination to set the new stage and reforming the environment to create magical space to receive. Full responsibility is a practice of taking the blind holds off. In relationships we avoid, make excuses and deny our own intuition. We become victims to a relationship that brings us down when we avoid, make excuses and deny our intuition. A relationship is self-discovery, self-improvement and self-revelation, but when we avoid, make excuses and deny our intuition it takes away our sovereignty and personal power and settles us into illusion.

We make illusions about how someone feels about us, the relationship dynamic, the projected outcome (either marriage or child barring) and ignore our own intentions and the other’s intentions for a relationship. For example, a woman wants a baby and has been with a man for two years. Intuitively she knows he is not available or ready to have a baby but she creates this illusion that when she has the baby he will change his mind so she gets pregnant without including him on the discussion. This creates victimization in the relationship. The woman is victim to the man’s immaturity regarding fatherhood and the man is victim to raising a child when he is not secure within himself to do so.

Taking responsibility is being honest, dignified and intentional. But, in relationships we are clouded by needs, goals and life style of the other, especially if we overlap relationships and never have a period of stillness with ourselves. We need to create our own blueprint for our self worth or our self worth is disorganized and our relationships mirror that lack of boundaries we have with our self worth. We need self worth boundaries to remain authentic to our intention for collaboration or we can get into a whirl wind of misunderstandings with ourselves and others.

The practice of full responsibility is stating the self worth boundaries through honesty, dignity and intention proclaiming. Honesty is recognizing what is constructive or destructive, what amplifies our natural rhythm and what off circuits the natural rhythm and the elevation of self worth or the decline of self worth. This practice is a meditation or introspection. We must ask ourselves the questions, “does this partnership or partnerships of the past construct me or deconstruct me? Does it amplify my natural rhythm or derail, detour or off circuit my natural rhythm? Does it elevate my self-worth giving me more confidence and courage to pursue an authentic life or discourage or disrupt my self-worth?” These questions are REAL! They encourage honesty, dignity and intentional observation. It helps us to relinquish the avoidance, excuses and denial that drag out a relationship that isn’t meant to be years long but weeks long.

The more we avoid, excuse and deny the more illusionary a relationship becomes. We need a relationship to be practical because we are spiritual beings, yes, full of compassion and kindness, but also we are material. Therefore, our soul’s goal is to come into the full embodiment of our material lives. This doesn’t happen through avoidance, excuses or denial, overall, victimization. It manifests through our honesty, dignity and intentional observation. It creates self worth boundaries that support responsible relationships where we are discovering, improving and having revelations about our authentic life and the people who support or disrupt that alchemy.

Overall, everyone isn’t meant to be with everyone. Everyone has a collaborative mate that is constructive, amplifying natural rhythm and elevates self worth. Also, everyone has a shadow side in relationships, where we experience great quantum leaps in our evolution through destructive, belittling and unsupportive relationships. The collaborative mates is family, like nectar to the unconscious self, while the shadow side in relationships, like torture from the Yogi who pushes us to keep up with the intensity of the Kundalini Yoga practice, develops our personal power, sovereignty and compassion to new heights if we take reasonability for it.

Establishing six core traits is a practice of allowing the self worth boundaries to speak. What is my material haven? Establishing six core traits is setting the frameworks for our house. A rectangular or square has six sides. We install a core trait above, below, to the left, right, infront and behind. Above us is the core trait of spirituality or intellect. What spirituality or intellect do we bring into our house? Below us is our basement or roots. What authenticity from childhood lived out in adulthood nourishes the house? The left is the heart chamber. What is my philosophy, or practice of discovery, that uplevels the house? The right is the heart expressed out in the world. What expressions or talents bring joy to the house? Infront is the forward future propulsion. What is the intentional direction for the house? Behind is the past review. What are my revelations about the past and how have they provided wisdom for the house?

Six core traits create the house of our self worth boundaries. For example, with full responsibility, I realize my self worth boundaries above is openness because my natural rhythm (Gemini spirit) is education and research, below is dignity because my natural rhythm is to be straight forward, fearless, to the left is encouragement because it is my natural rhythm to support myself, to the right is courage or mover and shaker because it is my natural rhythm to be athletic with goals, infront is leadership because my natural rhythm is to be a student/teacher/learner, behind is improving strategy because my natural rhythm is to examine how I can use the past to make better decisions in the future.

Examining this journal, I discover the frameworks to the house. Above (openness), below (dignity), to the left (encouragement), to the right (courage or mover and shaker), infront (leadership) and behind (improving strategy)–these are the six core traits to my haven. This is a blueprint for self worth boundaries and setting the stage for what my constructive relationship is.

Determination to set the new stage is embodying the six core traits through our masculine or feminine projection to magnetize these traits in a relationship. For example, if protection is behind us, we can play protection mantras to magnetize a protective mate. More examples, if luxury is infront, we can decorate our home or work space with Lakshmi, Green Tara or beauty deities to magnetize living a luxurious life, if support is to the right, we can join community groups for sculpture, craft making, etc. to magnetize supportive people, if business is to the left, we can read books on business strategy to magnetize intellectual wealth. Determination to set the new stage is magnetizing the six core traits to send out a strong signal to the self and others what house suits us. Not every house suits everyone. It is a determination to the six core traits that realizes the house.

Lastly, reforming the environment to create magical space to receive is a practice of eliminating the victimization, repeats of victimization and the dullness in the house. We must reform above, below, to the right, to the left, infront and behind. We must reform maturity in viewing relationships through responsibility and owernship, the childhood authenticity to avoid belittlement from the childhood and acceptance or lack thereof of the childlike enjoyment, the fulfillment of the heart, the assertion of the heart in the world, the action to move forward and the life review of the past for insight. When we give ourselves to our house we can remodel the house, internally and externally, to reflect the space we want to amplify within a relationship. By eliminating and tiding up our internal and external house we are clearing the path. With anything a path needs to be clear not scrambled, messy, overly complicated, confusing and miscellaneous. The path must be clear through reform for energy to be directed. We direct energy but energy needs an intentional channel through boundaries and magnetism.