Relationship Patterns
By Ivy Integration
Many
of us carry patterns from past lives, parents and childhood development. These
patterns carve our time and energy into the structure we know in past lives,
from parents and in childhood. For most of us, there are heavy subconscious
patterns of self oppression, self denial, self neglect, self avoidance, death
of self, self complacency and self disbelief. These patterns are in the
basement of our development and foundational to our overall expression of self,
relationship to others and the planet. We even carry the depression of our
mother, depression of the current ideology and past life denied potential.
Coming out of the dark ages that
stretched around twelve thousand years, we have a basement full of self oppression
and self dishonesty. Now the planet is headed towards the rise of human consciousness
into what is known as the matriarchal age that will stretch around twelve
thousand years as well. But the humongous and seeming insurmountable is the
patterns we’ve carried collectively for a very long time. However, the planet
is giving us the life force enhancement we need to reconstruct our ways but we
need inner reflection. We must go into the basement to uncover or everything in
our basement will remain in the same position.
What is a relationship pattern? For example,
let’s say most of our relationships end unexpressed and coldly. Let’s say
(being a woman) our partner mirrors the insecurity of our father. Let’s say we
have a tendency of shutting down or turning cold when we are feeling rejected.
Let’s say we are very openhearted and attract men who at first are lovely but
then very controlling. There are numerous relationship patterns. Overall, we
carry the feeling of not getting what we want or that we are not growing beyond
our ways of settling and sabotaging ourselves.
The reason we aren’t getting what we
want is because we don’t feeling deserving. Our inner self worth is revealed to
us in all our relationships even friendships. The most unproductive and boring
relationships or friendships reveal how misaligned we are with our joy. The
most playful and supportive relationships or friendships reveal to us how
aligned we are with our joy. In everything we want to align with our joy and it
is subtle. The subtly of our playful and fun-loving natural self is our fulfillment
and magnetism. But our ways of settling and sabotaging ourselves dulls our
inherent gift to be magnetic.
For example, I have a client who comes
to me and asks for me to describe her life partner. When I channel for her I
always see a man in her bed. I ask her, “You’re in a relationship with someone
and living with a person you know isn’t bringing you closer to your joy.” I
then went to tell her that as long as this man is in your psyche you are unavailable
energetically to your life partner. Many of us are doing what I call “piggy
backing,” meaning we do not let something go until something else comes in. I
have seen this alot. The root of “piggy backing” is fear in our ability to give
ourselves what we truly want. We carry one relationship in our psyche and
before that person is clear, we place another person in our psyche and scramble
our energetics. Whenever we are with someone sexually, living with someone or
giving out constant energy to someone we are emerging with their energy and if
that person isn’t bringing us closer to our joy then it is a drainage on our
energetics. What is a drainage? It lowers our energy, complicates our life and
draws us away from our innocence or subtly of freedom. Our psyche is our
vision. It is the golden rainbow above our head, from ear to ear and laced
through our body following the sciatic nerve.
The
reason we allow ourselves to indulge in our settling and sabotaging ways is because
we don’t have it structured in the psyche victory. Victory is a stream of
energy that moves through our psyche but when it is atrophied, which for most
it is, our devotion and consistency is weak or slow. Magnetism is very fast and
carries a velocity of learning. But for many our deserving is interlocked with self
oppression, self denial, self neglect, self avoidance, death of self, self
complacency and self disbelief from past lives, parents and childhood. However,
the more expansion we invite into our psyche that may be challenging or very uncomfortable
the more we pressure our psyche to reconstruct our potential. This is inner
self worth to hold potential over doubt and disbelief. This is a victory in the
psyche that learns and uncovers quickly.
Now if we are to redirect our
relationship patterns we need to write down our joy into form because always
our life partner follows our joy. If we do not know joy then our energetics
isn’t aligned with a playful and supportive nature. For example, my joy is
creativity, spirituality, expansion/knowledge, success and leadership. Getting
real with myself, a life partner for me would bring me closer to my native archetype
and not dull, dim or disrupt my native archetype.
Now, once we know our joy in form we can
create our visualization. But before we can create visualization, we have to
play out our low self worth and usually that means we encounter relationships
or friendships that, for example, are unsupportive, selfish, judgmental, unavailable,
etc. Basically, we need to see our low self worth and the area it has the
strongest affect. For me, it is in receiving a partner who matches my high
energy. My inner self worth doesn’t believe I deserve someone as high energy as
me. For you, it could be you don’t feel deserving for someone to be in a
relationship with you and go for men who want sex but aren’t looking for a
relationship.
Now, women hold the caliber for all
relationships especially sexually, domesticated and social. When women carry
patterns of settling and sabotaging, basically neglecting their joy, this
creates relationships without dignity or sense of reverence for self or others. When
we are not aligning with our joy, our dignity and reverence fades and so does
our belief in our potential. Without a strong belief in our potential, it is
very easy for our basement full of self oppression, self denial, self neglect,
self avoidance, death of self, self complacency and self disbelief to lead us
into a misaligned life where we don’t allow ourselves to know authenticity,
overcome our life force drainage and master our lives including our challenges
and patterns.
This is the incarnation lesson, to
master patterns and reconstruct. We are never meant to hold a pattern of past
lives, parents and childhood, but to recognize, revolutionize and realize
consistently. Without recognition, revolution and realization stagnancy or life
force flat line or decline becomes of us. That is why our true nature is to be
playful and supportive because this improves the life experience. But in the twelve
thousand years of dark times we carry deep inflicted doubt, fear and self-sabotage.
However, there is a velocity of learning that wants to strike us brilliant again
where we are masterful at recognizing, revolutionizing and realizing the self.
Most of what we are is hidden. We see
our relationships and friendships and maybe feel unproductive, bored, complacent,
a game of status quo but do nothing because what is hidden we cannot recognize
piggy backing or ending relationships learning nothing, reflecting on nothing
and waiting for the next. Once we are available to ourselves our visualization begins
to envision. Our life partner mirrors our most aligned self. To be aligned is
to follow a native archetype which is different for everyone. A native
archetype gives us radiance because our energy is flowing rhythmically to what
is playful and supportive. When we are not the native archetype our energy flow
is disruptive, unoriginal, commotional and heavily influenced by parents,
childhood and ideology. How to uncover our native archetype is to step away
from parents, childhood, social same/same and learn our uninflected joy that we
know as a young child before we experienced stiffness and discouragement from
the childhood.
When we are aligned with our joy we are
clear to envision our life partner. The reason we can’t envision our life
partner and our life with him/her because our low self worth thinks small and usually
is influenced by parents, childhood and social same/same. That is why we must
know our joy first because this clears our psyche of the patterns we hold that
are not true for us but stamped in the arch line from parents, childhood and
social same/same. When the velocity of learning which is to recognize, revolutionize
and realize becomes our victory we are magnetic to the vision we hold. This
gives us the devotion and consistency to hold our joy as a lantern to the
basement, as a guide, teacher and friend, helping us learn what is true for us
and what is not–what is playful and supportive and what is not.